Monday, 11 November 2013

Vicious Whirlwinds

I managed to survive 20 years without a single blackout, yet in the past month have experienced 3 total blackouts. They're pretty confusing, and you find yourself unable to believe people when they tell you what happened during the memory loss that ensues. Each blackout has been shorter than the last, and each for different reasons. The last one must have only lasted a few minutes, and I can remember trying to hold on for as long as possible. I began to see black spots in front of my eyes, and I felt slightly queasy. My entire body felt very weak and I was short of breath; I remember flopping over to try to regain some energy (this was at the front of a gig, so the flopping was onto the barrier) and I suddenly woke up in an entirely different place surrounded by staff. This episode may have been brought on (in order of likelihood) by:

  • Overheating / overexhertion 
  • Lack of food 
  • Mix of antibiotics, antidepressants and alcohol
I'd had one pint of draught, which is really nothing. I'm usually on 4+ double vodka-mixers to get inebriated so... Yeah. The staff kept asking me what I had taken (illicit) and, heh, I hadn't taken anything. Upon coming round again, I was very thankful to the staff for being taken out. I drank some water, cooled off, had a laugh and missed one song, was escorted back to my original place. 

I've brushed off each incident, but really, thinking about them, it's disconcerting. The last one was fine, that was a real black-out, but the two previous ones were where I was still functioning but unable to recall a single detail upon returning to consciousness. Those are the more worrying ones. 

I have a feeling this will escalate to a point where I am forced to be much more careful about my surroundings and what I am pumping through my body, but as usual with people, I will not heed caution until that point. This train wants to drive. 

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